


And His Name is Salamander Wheatthin!

by smuglaurens



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Animals, Canonical Character Death, Cats, Climbing, Dogs, Everyone Needs A Hug, Foxes, Gay, Gen, Multi, Not Beta Read, Self-Indulgent, Talking Animals, Turtles, alexander is a salamander, but animals! and more plotlines and detail, can you tell i like reptiles, even as a salamander hes noooon stop, its stupid, just a whole bunch of reptiles, later ;), they're not furries i promise, this is the musical, weird baby hybrids? idk. they cute tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2018-11-07 14:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11060703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smuglaurens/pseuds/smuglaurens
Summary: A young salamander who only wishes to climb.Somehow, he ends up in America.Things are about to get interesting.(This is basically an AU where all the Hamilton characters are — you guessed it — animals. Entirely self indulgent but entirely fun to write. Me and my friend made this AU in social studies one day when we were bored, so don't expect much haha)





	1. Each chapter title will be a salamander fact starting next chapter. Enjoy

Salamanders are not known as exactly complex creatures. Their only motive, at least in Wheatthin’s world, is to climb.  
Salamander Wheatthin was not that different than them. He aspired to climb to the highest places...especially the highest height of the palm tree. But he had one crucial difference to his philosophy; he had a plan and a dream.

He knew he had to go somewhere -- to...America. Where the highest buildings and greatest sights were. There were murmurs, too...about a majestic bald eagle. Every salamander aspired to fly with him. But Salamander simply needed to reach his goal by himself. 

It was a hard few years on the random island he lived on. He wasn’t so sure where exactly he was, he just knew he needed to get out. He’d figure out the rest in America.

There were endless trials. Then he settled on working at a local trading center, though it was usually stepped on and destroyed by human beasts. At the trading center, Salamander thrived. He traded every last shiny rock he owned for salamander currency, which was a petal of the most delicious flower on the island. Fools would eat their currency; smart salamanders saved up. Salamander often felt he was the only smart one on this island.

Salamander had constant thoughts of his mother, who died of overheating. She saved every last drop for Salamander, and not herself. Salamander would always be eternally grateful and guilty at the same time. But he still needed to climb up.

After his mother died, he went to live with his cousin for a while. It all ended so soon, only a while later said cousin committed suicide. 

The worst possible day was when the tide came in. It was a tale only told in legends to small lizards and salamanders. But it was true. The waves gushed blue, taking thousands of young salamanders with it. The water shimmered, blinding the wisest elders and weakening them further. Salamander used his greatest skill to escape this monster wave; climbing. He found the highest rock and, although he slipped quite a few times, he made it. He sobbed at the top for hours, watching any semblance of family or friends demolished, victim to the huge flowing waves.

And he managed to survive. The residents of the island — at least the surviving ones — decided that Salamander’s climbing skill was too great to be restricted to such a small area of land. So they used all of their salamander currency to trade for pieces to build a boat.

That is where his story starts, a young salamander, about to depart to the far-off lands of America with just a few other reptiles like him. He bounded up to the ship with as much gusto that a little salamander could muster. He gazed at the other passengers who were waiting for him.

“Well, what are you waiting for, little guy? Let’s go,” the big iguana spoke in a gruff tone. He seemed to be impatient, probably coming from another island further away.  
Salamander climbed on, amazed at how real the experience was. All he had was a leaflet full of salamander currency which he would probably use as food if it was invalid in the far off lands of America. 

Another thing about Salamander: so far, he was selectively mute. But it seemed on this boat trip, the other passengers were just as impatient as the iguana and bored as well. He would have to speak.

“Hey, pipsqueak!” a gecko spoke, gesturing to Salamander. Salamander looked at the gecko, who was green and red like a fruit. Salamander’s stomach growled. It had only been about 30 minutes and he was already hungry. Would he survive the trip? “I’m talkin’ to you.”

“Me…?” Salamander let out in a small croak. It had been years since he really spoke, but he knew he’d have to get used to it in America. Little did he know, in America, he would only speak more.

“Yeah, you. So...why’re you going to America, anyway?” 

Salamander thought. Was climbing really that important to a gecko? He’d still tell the truth. “Other reptiles...amazed by my climbing.”

“You don’t talk much, eh?” the gecko predicted. Salamander’s black eyes widened, then he gave a small, embarrassed nod. 

“Well, it’s okay. For now. In America, you gotta talk.”

“I know.” Salamander looked down awkwardly. Why was this gecko so talkative? 

“So, what’s your name? I’m Jasper,” Jasper greeted. 

“‘M Salamander. Salamander Wheatthin. And...an’ there’s a million things I-I haven’t done. So...so...just you wait.” Salamander cursed himself for being so forward. But, it was true. He had a whole list of things to do before he inevitably dies.

“Heh. Cute,” the iguana commented. “I’m Bruiser. I like your style, little guy.”

Salamander flushed as the rest of the gang introduced themselves. He had never gotten so much attention, at least since he had initially got the news he was going to America. He knew he would most likely never see these guys again, but for now, it was good.

They chatted for a while, Salamander still stumbling with his words quite a bit but no one seemed to comment on it. It was going great until everyone started to feel very, very hot…

“The ship! It’s — it’s on fire!” Bruiser screeched out. 

Salamander bit back his snarky comment (but seriously, it was to be expected when they were sailing on a bit of palm tree wood weaved together with leaves).

“I know what to do! Douse...douse it in water. And jump!” Salamander yelled with utmost urgency, jumping triumphantly out of the boat.

“It looks…” Jasper paused to take a breath. “Too deep!”

“Just swim! You’ll get burnt...if you don't swim!” 

Soon all of the reptiles were out of the boat, Bruiser carrying a few that didn’t know how to swim. It was very lucky he was a marine iguana, or half of the group would have been dead.

Salamander refused help, although his legs were killing him. They all worked together to push the flaming boat deeper into the water until the flames were engulfed, leaving only smoke and ash. 

The boat was a wreck, to be honest. But it was rideable. Just to be safe, Bruiser dove down and gathered seaweed. Salamander, now sitting on the makeshift boat, weaved the seaweed into the most broken areas. 

“It might fall apart, but we can find things at another island if we see one,” Salamander had explained. He was extremely grateful for his building skill, or the boat might have been scraps.

Somehow, someway, they had made it. America...it was so big and vibrant… It may have just been Salamander so used to the dull blue of the sea, but...it was amazing…

His first destination? To find someone who he had heard murmurs about all throughout the voyage. A young cat who had risen up quickly. Nyaron Purr.


	2. Salamanders aren't reptiles, they're actually amphibians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Salamander meets some friends.

“Goodbye, Salamander. Thank you, so much for helping us on the boat,” Bruiser chirped. The rest of the group nodded in sync.

“It was my...my pleasure,” Salamander stuttered. “I guess we must part ways now.”

“I suspect I’ll be hearing good things about you, Salamander,” Jasper spoke before walking off. 

After they had gone, Salamander immediately went to find someone who could tell him where Nyaron Purr was. He went up to a couple people who had no idea, but then bumped into a tabby cat.

“Um, ex...excuse me,” Salamander stammered. “Are you Nya--”

“I assume you’re looking for Nyaron Purr,” The tabby predicted, purring in anticipation.

“Oh, y-yes, I am.” The cat gave him a glare.

“Well, I’m not him. I’m simply the bursar for the Climber’s University,” the cat informed.

The Climber’s University was Salamander’s biggest dream. He had heard about it when he was simply 10 years old, still dreaming of the future. Salamander beamed, he was so close to his goals, then he would join the revolution and die nobly. 

“Oh, um then I guess you’re the second person I’m looking for,” Salamander spoke, looking closer at the tabby whose pelt was mottled with gray.

“Well, what use could I be to you? A small salamander like you surely couldn’t climb farther than Nyaron Purr!” The cat laughed cruelly at Salamander, who grew angrier by the second.

Suddenly, in a fit of rage, Salamander struck at the bursar with all of his might, leaving him dumbfounded.  
Salamander immediately started running. The excitement of America...It must have gotten to him, he had done a foolish thing...yet, it was so right. In his speed, he ran straight into a pure gray cat who looked very inconvenienced to see the sight of him.

This cat screamed wisdom and skill. “Pardon me...are you Nyaron Purr, sir?” Salamander let out a few slurping sounds as Nyaron Purr looked at him strangely. “Sorry, bad habit of mine.”

“Well, it depends, who are you?” Nyaron challenged. 

“I’m Salamander Wheatthin,” he told. “I’m at your service.” 

“I’m a little nervous,” Nyaron murmured, looking at Salamander in the eyes.

“S-sir…” Salamander stammered, his voice cracking slightly. “I heard your name around, you...you graduated from climbing college so early...honestly I’m surprised at the fact that a cat like you could qualify. Mostly it’s more of the bird and lizards. Some people think I’m a rip-off from the great lizard kind since I’m not like them, salamanders like myself are different.” 

Nyaron looked at him. “Sorry, I’m rambling aren’t I? I don’t usually talk m...much.” He made another nervous slurping sound. “But I came for a reason, I wanted to ask how to graduate early like you. I asked a friend of yours but he spoke to me like I was stupid. I’m not, by the way. I may have...punched him? He handles the financials?”

“You punched the bursar,” Nyaron spoke, in more of a statement than a question.

Salamander nodded. “Yes, I wanted to climb like you did, and then maybe live my life here in America. So how did you do it?”

“It...it was my parent’s dying wish. Before...they passed.” He spoke in a grim tone which Salamander overlooked entirely. 

“You’re an orphan? I’m an orphan! Man, I wish I could prove myself in a war, then I can prove I’m worth more than anyone on my island bargained for!” Salamander’s eyes lit up as he spoke pure passion.

“Could I invite you to the pond, for a drink?” Nyaron asked, now having an amused edge to his voice.

“That’d...that’d be nice.” 

Salamander followed the cat to a pond bustling with people. It had a sandy floor, and rocks were lined along the riverbank. For a second he felt at home, even though most of these people weren’t salamanders or lizards. Nyaron lapped at the water, and Salamander did the same. The water was much less salty than the island’s water and instead tasted much clearer.

Nyaron rose his head to speak. “While we’re here, let me give you some free advice.”

Salamander looked at the cat whose chin was now soaked with water. “Talk less.”

“W-what?” Salamander had just gotten into the habit of talking, and like when he was a child he always talked too much. It just wasn’t something he could control.

“Smile more,” Nyaron spoke, voice smooth as the pond rocks. Salamander wasn't sure if he should take that as a compliment or not.

Nyaron gave Salamander another glare as he let out a slurp-laugh. “Don’t let them know what you’re against, or what you’re for.”

Salamander was shocked. That was the point of coming to America! To prove himself, he had nothing to lose, so why would he hide? “You...You can’t be serious.”

“Don’t you want to get ahead?” 

“Y-yes...but I have to show emotion,” Salamander protested. 

“Well, fine, don’t take my word for it,” Nyaron started, lowering his head to lap up more water. But before he did, he spoke a final warning. “But fools who run their mouths, they wind up dead.”

Before the words, which were dripping with venom, could have any effect on Salamander, three animals came up to the spot in the pond they were sitting at, shrieking incoherently.

“YO YO YO YO YO YO! What time is it?” one yelped, putting an arm on Nyaron. The rest shouted ‘Showtime’ in unison. It had been a turtle who had asked what time it was, but he didn’t seem as slow as the ones Salamander had seen on the boat. He looked like Salamander would expect a turtle to look; green, brown shell. But this turtle had amazing, deep brown eyes.

Another animal that was there was a squirrel who looked like it had eaten thousands of sticks of sugarcane, as it was bouncing around excitedly, brown eyes wide and darting around. Its fur was reddish brown, and it seemed curlier than Nyaron’s fur. 

Then there was a brownish gray bunny, who was huge — at least, he seemed huge compared to Salamander — and had emerald green eyes. His pelt was slightly curly, and he wore a headband of sorts made of grass.

Nyaron sighed. He obviously knew this group. “Like I said.”

“Purr! Who is the friend!” the squirrel shouted, vaguely asking a question.

Before Nyaron could speak, Salamander shot up. “My name is Salamander. Salamander Wheatthin.”

“That’s a weird name,” the bunny put in.

“I was named after my father, who was named for his skill at wheat tending.” The words ‘father’ left a bad taste in Salamander’s mouth. His father left when he was young, leaving them without food and Salamander without a father figure.

“Well, I’m John Shellens in the place to be, which is the revolution!” the turtle screeched, raising an arm in the air. Salamander wondered about the revolution, he had heard about it and really wanted to join.

“Je M'appelle Marquis de Squirrelayatte,” the squirrel spoke, bowing. The bunny rolled his eyes.

“Not everyone knows French. I’m Hercules Snufflegan, by the way. Not a bunny, I can tell you think that. ‘M a hare.” Salamander silently pondered the difference between a hare and a bunny for a second before 

“I...Hi. I do speak French, by the way…” Salamander spoke. Squirrelayette’s eyes lit up and Hercules let out another little sigh. Salamander’s eyes widened a little. Was that a bad thing?

“Nothing personal. It’s just always French with this one,” Hercules mock-sighed. That made John let out a giggle.

“What can I say? I am where I come from,” Squirrelayette spoke, shrugging. 

“I came from afar too,” Salamander admitted, although it was less of an admission since there didn’t seem to be many salamanders here. 

“Ooh! From where!” John probed, his eyes lighting up.

“Well, I’m actually not exactly sure,” Salamander murmured. “All I know? It was bad.”

Nyaron seemed slightly uncomfortable to be in the middle of this, so he began to get up and pad off.

“Where’re you going, Purr?” John asked loudly. “You gonna spit a verse for us?” 

“I’m not going to, Shellens,” Nyaron said simply. “I’m leaving.”

“Purr, the revolution’s imminent! You can’t keep stalling!” John said, seeming more serious suddenly.

“If you stand for nothing Purr, what will you fall for?” Salamander put in, getting right in the annoyed cat’s face. Nyaron simply left, flicking his tail in frustration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! i wrote most of this on the bus lol
> 
> updating this at school rn. sorry for any mistakes


	3. Salamanders can grow up to five feet long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Salamander and his newfound friends think about their futures.

Salamander and his new friends talked for what felt like hours, about themselves, about random things, pretty much anything.

“You know, it might be cheesy but I’ve never had a real group of friends like this before,” Salamander admitted, smiling. “I promise, I’ll make you all proud...”

John smiled. “I’ve only known you for a day, Sala --” Sala. That was a new one. “...but I know you will.” The rest of the revolutionary set, as they had dubbed themselves, erupted in cheers.

“Yep, yep, just gotta get situated in Climber’s College, join the revolution with you guys…”

The revolution. It was every animal’s dream to join it. At least, every animal on Salamander’s home island’s dream. The conflict was basically animals against humans. You see, humans took animals from their homes and held them captive for their amusement. Salamander had experienced this first hand; humans came directly to the island every once in awhile, scooping up young salamanders for unknown purposes. The real damage was done when people in fast boats darted across the island waters, nets grabbing any fish or swimming salamander they could have. It wasn’t even only humans who agreed with taking animals for their own gain; there were animals who, despite being held captive, enjoyed it somehow. The biggest offender was a cat named ‘King Meworge’. He said animals were helpless without an owner, and the saddest part was he had a following. He also thought he was a lion, which was honestly pathetic to Salamander. But, back to the revolution; to Salamander, it was the perfect way to both climb up and also fight for a cause. His biggest drive, the reason he came to America. 

“You know, I can see it now, we’re gonna’ win the revolution, and die bravely. Our children will tell our stories, and we’ll look back on this night,” Salamander fantasized.

The group did not cheer; rather they quietly stared upon the glistening twilight sky, thinking about their futures fondly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this was so short! i didn't have much ideas for my shot or the story of tonight so i just combined them into a short chapter. i hope you still enjoyed it! also, i'm back to school now and that's usually when i write more often, because i have time on the bus home! so expect more!


	4. The oldest salamander species lived 157 million years ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyaron tries to get his mind off things and meets three eccentric sisters.

Nyaron made his way downtown, trying to forget the less than pleasant experience he just had. He often liked to watch people come and go through on their busy routes. By doing this, he notices a lot of things. Mainly, the one that was most prominent, was wealthy animals coming to look at how people in the Climber’s College would debate at the Commons. Today was no exception; you could tell animals were wealthy from their carriages, and there were quite a few. However, the trio that caught Nyaron’s eye was...the Schuylark Sisters! 

The three sisters were down by the college, eyeing the heated debaters with a gleam in their eyes. There was Angelicko, the oldest of the trio. She was a red stripe gecko, and she was the most passionate of them all in her beliefs. She was a fireball of ideas and opinions.

The middle sister was Elizard. She was a leopard gecko, but she was timider than Angelicko. She was mainly in the background, but she was never one to keep her feelings inside if she felt they were important. She mainly was a follower, by choice.

Eggy was the youngest, and she was more of the goody-two-shoes type. She was dragged into every outing her two other sisters had, even though she seemed unwilling to do it every time. She was simply an egg, with two lizard legs and a tail sprouting out of it. She was extremely outspoken compared to the others, and not many people knew her name, simply perceiving her as another child lizard just getting out of their nest.

Nyaron observed the situation closely. They were doing exactly what he thought they were; chatting up the boys that were studying. Except for Eggy, who seemed to be protesting them even being there.

“Daddy said to be home by sundown, guys!” Eggy yelled shrilly to Angelicko and Elizard, who seemed more interested in other things than their sister.

“Daddy doesn’t need to know,” Angelicko reminded. “He won’t even know that we’ve gone.”

Eggy got angrier, stomping her foot. “Daddy said not to go downtown! Don’t you remember?”

“Well, he doesn’t need to know we’re here,” Angelicko spoke sharply. “Unless a certain sister tells him.” She eyed Eggy intensely with an accusing glare.

“Besides, Eggy, we said you could go home if you wanted to,” Eliza put in. 

“But why would you want to go? I mean, look around! The revolution is happening, in front of our very own eyes!” Angelicko’s eyes gleamed as she looked around at the bustling town. 

Eggy was about to speak but Elizard chimed in instead. “It’s breathtaking! Don’t you agree, Eggy?”

“No! It’s already bad enough that daddy wants to go to war in the first place!” Eggy protested.

“But just imagine people shouting in the square, so passionate and strong! Fighting for what they believe in!” Elizard gushed.

“Are you kidding me? All of those disagreements will cause violence on our shore!” Eggy squeaked angrily.

“There are so many new ideas in the air! You can’t be so afraid of change, Eggy!” Angelicko sighed. Eggy muttered something under her breath and sunk down in resignation.

“Remind me what we’re looking for, Angelicko!” Elizard asked, smiling. Angelicko gazed around at the crowd, the gleam in her eyes getting stronger.

A few hopeful animals tried to get their attention. “You’re looking for me!” one student shouted, waving his arms around. Angelicko only gave him a tiny glare, as if to say ‘you wish’, and marched on.

“I’m looking for a mind at work! A man whose wealth is not in money, but in his smarts!” Angelicko shouted, causing a lot of people to shout and cheer.

Nyaron had heard enough, he wanted to get to know Angelicko and he wanted to right then. He made his way through the swarming crowd and offered the sisters a suave smile.

“There’s nothin’ like summer in the city, right, ladies?” Nyaron spoke, trying to be charming.

Angelicko eyed him up and down judgmentally. “You must be Nyaron Purr.” She spoke with a sort of loathing in her voice.

“And you’re Angelicko, and Elizard,” Nyaron smirked.

“And Eggy!” Eggy cried out angrily.

“And…Eggy…” Nyaron added in, coughing. “Well, ladies, I don’t mean to be crude, but your carriages show that your daddy’s got money.”

Angelicko flinched angrily. “That is--”

“Why are you here downtown where all the workers are? Are you searching for an urchin, who can give you your ideals?” Nyaron asked, getting in front of Angelicko intimidatingly.

“Ugh! Purr, you disgust me!” Angelicko cringed, swatting at his furry face.

“Ah, so you admit you’ve discussed me?” Nyaron countered smoothly. “I’m a trust fund, baby, you can trust me!”

“Purr, you’re despicable. I don’t fall for your stupid lines,” Angelicko spoke, getting straight in Nyaron’s face. “I’ve been reading Common Sense, by Thomas Paine, recently. So some men say I’m intense, or that I’m crazy. And I don’t doubt that you were one of them.”

Nyaron opened his mouth to speak but Elizard whacked him with her tail, unsubtly saying 'listen up'. “You want this revolution? I want a revelation! So listen to my declaration, you furball!” Angelicko was right in front of him, staring intensely into his blazing amber eyes. 

Angelicko looked at her sisters, compelling them to follow along. “‘We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal,’” Angelicko and Elizard quoted in unison, though Eggy was still stirring about her lack of attention.

Angelicko got even closer to Nyaron somehow, her eyes determined. “When I meet Thomas Borkerson? I’ma’ compel him to include women in the sequel!”

A lot of the students cheered, and Angelicko walked away, blazing inside in a good way. Nyaron was shocked, and honestly quite hurt. This had just made his day worse, even though he intended to make it better. He shut his mouth and padded away silently, ignoring the eyes burning into his pelt and the laughter and insults being thrown his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whOO SCHUYLER SISTERS!
> 
> i spent like half the day yesterday writing this >;3 also, they are called SchuyLARK because philip schuyler in this AU is a bird, and their mother catherine was a gecko which is why they are all geckos. their brothers and some sisters are birds. and lark is a type of bird, haha i'm so funny
> 
> i hope you enjoyed!!


	5. There are some salamanders that have no lungs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unwelcome visitor greets Salamander.

Salamander was walking back from the pond with his friends when he heard a loud shrieking and murmurs from a crowd. He subconsciously walked in the direction, curious about what it could be. What he saw was shocking to him: a loud, green parrot squawking about something on a soapbox, and a stirring crowd of animals. He listened closely to what the parrot was going on about.

“Here ye, here ye! My name is Samuel Seabury,” the parrot yelled. “And I present ‘Free Thoughts on the Proceedings of the Continental Congress!’”  
Salamander scrunched his face up. Was he ranting about the revolution? He had to stay to see this. He sat down, focused on the bird holding leaflets, probably containing writing.

Samuel cleared his throat then began reading. “Heed not the rabble who scream revolution, they have not your interests at heart!” 

Salamander’s mood immediately changed. He was arguing...against the revolution? How? It was simply the best option! And insulting them? 

It seemed Hercules agreed, as he grunted “Oh my god. C’mon, Salamander, tear this guy apart.”

“Chaos and bloodshed are not the solutions! Don’t let them lead you astray!” Samuel squawked louder. Salamander was horrified. This was straight up propaganda for the King! Where Salamander was from, you had to fight for what you believed in. This should be no different, and condemning revolutionists from violence would not get the job done.

Salamander stood up, slurping angrily. He was ready to pounce on this fool. But out of nowhere Nyaron Purr came up to him and put a paw in front of his stance. “Let him be.” Salamander angrily complied. But if this parrot spewed foolishness one more time…

“I pray the king shows you his mercy…for shame…for shame…” 

“That’s it,” was all Salamander said before stomping up to the soapbox. He looked Samuel in the eye, who seemed shocked that Salamander dared to stand up to him. Samuel cleared his throat annoyingly and began squawking his speech. However, Salamander had a point to make. He climbed onto the soapbox and looked straight at that stupid parrot once again as if to challenge him.

“Yo!” Salamander challenged angrily. He could practically feel Purr’s sigh from the audience, but his friends' cheers kept him going. Salamander began to counter all of Samuel’s arguments, but the dolt just kept ignoring him.

“Hey, smartass! The revolution is comin’ whether you like it or not! The have-nots are gonna win this!” Salamander shrieked as loud as he could overtop of Samuel’s horrible speech.

“...They have not your interests at heart,” Samuel tried to remain calm, but Salamander was talking non-stop.

“It’s hard to listen to you with a straight face,” Salamander sigh-laughed.

They continued to argue overtop one another. “Chaos and bloodshed already haunt us, you shouldn’t even talk like you’re superior, and what about Boston?!” Salamander challenged.

“This congress does not speak for me!” Samuel yelled, his face turning red. 

“A mutt could speak more eloquently than you,” Salamander countered, blazing with pride and cleverness.

“They’re playing a dangerous game!” Samuel yelped, trying to push Salamander off of the soapbox.

“Strangely, you and a mutt’s mange is the same!” Salamander climbed past Samuel, dodging his efforts to push him off. Salamander stood on his hind legs to face Samuel equally, and to give the dunce of a parrot a chance to actually listen.

“I pray the king shows you his mercy,” Samuel practically growled straight to Salamander’s face.

“What, is he in Jersey? What will he do to us all the way over here?” Salamander asked angrily.

“For shame!” Samuel condemned. Salamander looked at the crowd, a glisten of determination in his eyes. 

“For the revolution!” Salamander cried, and the crowd cheered wildly.

“FOR SHAME!” Samuel screamed, obviously out of patience. His leaves flew everywhere as he raised his wings in anger.

“Heed--” Samuel spoke angrily, successfully pushing Salamander off of the soapbox. But Salamander just scuttled back up with ease, his climbing skills in tip-top shape.

“If you repeat yourself again, I’m gonna--” Salamander was interrupted by being violently thrown off of the soapbox again by the savage parrot.

“Scream!” the two said in unison. Salamander climbed up the soapbox yet again, determined to give Samuel something to think about.

“Honestly, look at me! Please. Stop. Reading!” Salamander stood up straighter, trying to get Samuel’s eye contact, but he stumbled over soon after.

“N-not your interests…” Samuel tried to continue but was far too uncomfortable with the stares and the protest of the crowd.  
“You can’t boss us around then not debate with me!” Salamander stood up as straight as he could, getting right into Samuel’s face. “Why should one animal decide where we’re meant to be?!” Salamander was ready to fight but felt a familiar furry paw nudge him.

It was Nyaron Purr. “Salamander, please…” he sighed. Salamander’s eyes grew angry. 

“Purr, I’d rather be fighting for what I believe in than indecisive. Stop being so civil!” Salamander spoke angrily. How could Nyaron even get to be so opinionless? 

Salamander got ready to argue more, but a small cat came scrambling over to the crowd.

“SILENCE! The king has come to deliver a message!” the cat yowled loudly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was really hard to write, as i didn't want to make it rhyme at all and the overlapping speech was hardest to write. i think i did pretty good tho! hope you enjoyed!!


	6. Some salamanders have tongues longer than their entire body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> King Meworge sucks. Salamander is still eager to fight.

Salamander’s eyes widened. The king was here? Samuel gave him a dirty look then hopped off of the soapbox. After a few seconds of being dazed, Salamander hopped off too, ready to hear what this ‘king’ had to say. 

The white as snow cat walked to the soapbox, his gem encrusted collar gleaming in the pale sunlight. His blue eyes were calm, but had a fire behind them. He was obviously angry but didn’t want to show it. Salamander felt he had no good reason to be angry animals weren’t settling with humans, they lived their own lives and no one could meddle with them without a fight.

The king cleared his throat loudly, getting everyone’s attention. “You have all made it very clear that the price of a human’s love is a price that you are not willing to pay,” he started, seeming slightly tense and serious. “You cry, and you refuse to live by the natural laws of life. That’s simply childish.”

The crowd started buzzing, protesting loudly. King Meworge simply gave them an angry glare and everyone felt compelled immediately to stop. He jumped off of the soapbox, getting closer to the crowd. “Why are you all so stubborn? Remember, we made an arrangement when you left your caretakers,” he reminded. “And...now, you’re making me mad. You need to remember, despite this hostility...I’m your man.” He gave a smile causing groans to erupt from the audience. Another sharp glare, this time accompanied by a ‘shush’.

“You’ll be back, you’ll see soon,” he mewed, looking the audience up and down. “You’ll realize you belong with your owners! And if not that…then you deserve to be dead.” 

A shocked uproar arose from the audience. How on Earth could he be saying these things? “Oh, don’t act surprised. If humans don’t want you, you’re just useless. You can’t possibly to live on your own, that’s just simply ridiculous! And maybe if you unwanted animals were a bit more well-mannered, humans might give you a chance!”

Gasps flooded through the crowd. Salamander was slurping in anger, and all he wanted to do then was sink his sharp teeth into that horrible cat’s pelt. But, as if Nyaron could sense his anger, the cat put a warning tail in front of Salamander.

“He’s not worth it. Don’t risk your freedom for that mangy human-lover.” His mew was cold, so much so that it made Salamander jump a bit. 

“For once I’ll follow your advice,” Salamander murmured, stepping back. He was a little disappointed, but Nyaron was right for once. If he intervened, he’d be killed. Or worse, he’d be taken to those awful humans that ruined his island. He slouched back down, unhappy at the truth.

“Quiet!” the king hissed, stamping a paw on the ground. “All you savages won’t ever make it on your own without my help! And I know you’ll all go back to your humans at the end of this silly debate.” 

It went silent, as if everyone was pondering what to do, or if it was really true. Salamander argued with himself in his mind. _How could that horrible cat be saying these things? I never relied on humans. Humans never helped me from the flood, humans never refrained from stepping on my kind. Humans didn’t give my mother water, no one helped her, no one helped me. I owe them nothing._ His slimy skin felt like it was on fire and all he wanted to do was strike at the ignorant cat. But knowing his fate if he did, he stayed put, grumbling to himself. 

“You’ll go back soon enough. And if you don’t…” The cat paused, leaving only an extremely unsettling atmosphere of silence. “I will kill your friends and family to remind you of your place.”

Salamander didn’t think the crowd could get more quiet, but it did, as the whole diverse group of animals’ faces all shared the same shocked look. It was so silent that the blowing of the wind and pattering of feet were louder than the crowd. In a couple moments it dispersed into quiet murmurs of disbelief. Salamander took a deep breath and looked around for an excuse to leave.

He noticed his friends leaving this trainwreck and bounded closer to them. 

“Yeah, let’s go,” Salamander spoke in barely a whisper.

The four walked as fast as they could away from the insane king. When they’d finally gotten far away to the point where they couldn’t hear the rant he was going on, Salamander unloaded his thoughts. 

“Oh my god! Can you believe that? How can he say all those things if he doesn’t know who we even are, how stupid is that!” Salamander continued to ramble wildly until he ran out of breath. “Sorry, am I talking too loud? Sometimes I get overexcited.”

“No…we agree,” John sighed. “But we’re gonna have to fight to say it. If we don’t get into the war soon we don’t have a chance of living peacefully unless we go on their side.”

“We’re not going to go on their side. I’m not throwing away this shot, where do I apply?” Salamander bit his tongue to keep from rambling. He stood on his toes in anticipation. He had to get into this war, it was his dream to join a war. It was the only way to climb up.

“You’ll have to go to Washingtalon, but what are the chances of that?” Hercules asked to himself softly. “We’re just nobodies. Sure, we’re on their side, but what will it take to make it?”

“Are you kidding me? We’re not nobodies, we’re just like everyone else. We’re gonna get there and we’ll fight for our freedom!” Salamander exclaimed triumphantly. “I graduated from Climber’s College, remember? Remember? And Hercules, you’re in the Sons of Liberty! Squirrelayette, you’ve got so much fighting spirit. And John, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met! We’re so good he’ll have to take us! And the army’s not big enough to fight those human-lovers yet-- they’ll need us!”

Salamander’s words rejuvenated their spirits. “He is right! We’ve got to take a chance mon amis!” Squirrelayette squeaked, pumping his arm up and down in the air.  
The group cheered and walked on. Salamander’s heart swelled. His dreams were slowly but surely coming true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in a while... I cannot follow a schedule for the life of me man. I like reading more than writing it seems like -o- 
> 
> hope ya enjoyed nonetheless!


	7. Salamanders, unlike lizards, have smooth and glossy skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Salamander's life changes.

It had been about a month since their little discussion, and Salamander was ecstatic. He’d applied for the Continental Army and got in. Silently he beamed to himself. By rumor General Washingtalon was going to be there in the crowd he was in for a speech. His eyes gleamed as he looked around. Hercules was beside him; he had gotten in as well. The rest of his friends were in too; Salamander just couldn’t be happier. His only dream was to fight in a war, die like a martyr and rise up to his full potential. But he pushed his pride away and waited for the legend himself; Washingtalon. 

“I hope he shows up,” Hercules murmured, almost silent.

“Of course he will. There’s never a rumor without a reason. Or was it reason without rumor? I don’t know. Well I-”

“Rambling.”

“Oh, sorry…” Salamander knew he had the tendency to speak too loud and too much. It really was becoming a bad habit. “Maybe I need a shock collar.” His suggestion was to lighten the mood, but Hercules just looked at him and snorted.

“I heard that’s what the ‘king’ uses on his prisoners.” Salamander bit his tongue of an exclamation of hate but had a look of disbelief on his face.

“You’re kidding,” he spoke softly. For some reason, the thought of forced silence was worse than death to Salamander, and he guessed he would probably talk anyways. A shiver ran through him imagining the pain those poor animals went through.

“I’m not, it’s--” Hercules was put to silence by a loud ‘caw’ heard from all around. Almost every animal in the crowd went silent, amazement gleaming in their eyes. It was the one…the only… 

“George Washingtalon?!” Purr exclaimed softly. Salamander pondered what he could be doing here; perhaps he wanted to be in the war too. But it was far-fetched; Salamander couldn’t remember a single moment where the cat had an opinion.

Cheers erupted from the audience as the majestic eagle swooped down and stood tall. His face had a look of impatience on it; Salamander understood, the crowd was extremely loud and obnoxious

“Folks, will you please settle down?” Washingtalon urged the buzzing crowd to no avail. “Please!” At this point he was desperate, the calm tone of his voice threatening to break at any second.

Silent shock surged through the flock of animals and it got so quiet, Salamander was sure everyone’s baited breaths could be heard. Washingtalon sighed. “Thank you.”

Quiet murmurs began to rise but the General ignored them. “I’m here to talk to you about the war…” Immediately cheers burst, all of the soldiers being proud of the cause. Salamander felt pride rise up in his chest. Even Hercules seemed proud of the idea of the revolution, a smile appearing on his face. “It’s not going well.” The grim look on Washingtalon's face said it all.

“We are outbattled, we are outmanned, we are outnumbered, outplanned…I can’t do everything alone, I know I am depended on, but I am going to need a right-hand-man.”

Almost everyone gasped, dumbfounded at the idea. Salamander thought it was logical; no one creature could do everything alone. Everyone needed help. Even Salamander, even if he didn’t want to believe it.

“It’s true, I can’t be a model major general without a little help. The human-supporters are attacking already, taking our armies and killing our men…it doesn’t help to have it all on my shoulders, either…everyone has to retreat to survive. We’ll never win like this...they’ve already taken Brooklyn.”

Washingtalon continued his speech, Salamander getting more inspired by every word of it, no matter how grim. He knew what he had to do. Somehow, Salamander needed to convince the General he was worthy of being the right-hand-man he needed.

\--

It was one of Salamander’s first battles, and he was ready. With Hercules on his side, he felt he could do anything, no matter how risky. “They’re at Battery! Check the damage!” he yelled, jumping around with gusto.

As they ran, the wind whipping across their skin, Salamander felt lucky to be alive then. He truly enjoyed fighting no matter how bad it was. “We need to stop them! Don’t listen!” Cries of triumph from the human-lovers erupted, but Salamander tuned them out. They wouldn’t win yet.

“Look!” Hercules exclaimed, pointing a paw at many of the attacking troops makeshift cannons. Salamander’s face lit up as he realized the perfect opportunity to stop their advantages in the war.

“We can still win this, get rid of their cannons!” As soon as he said it, Salamander was off, pushing and shoving the war machines away. “We can steal em’!” He used his climbing skills to maneuver the landscape quickly, never stopping for a heartbeat.

Hercules agreed with the idea and went to work. A small part of their army caught on and began to work with them to rid of as many cannons they could.  
“We won’t abandon ship until they're nothing!” Salamander cheered, causing the rest to cheer on as well.

\--

Washingtalon had still not yet found his right-hand-man, and he was getting more tired by the second.

“We abandoned Kips Bay, we lost the southern tip and now we just can’t afford to risk losing like this any more…” 

His famous calm was still kept, but he was getting angrier by the second addressing the troops. “I’ve had to divide the troops just to have a chance!” Washingtalon, in a moment of rare anger, had lost his temper. “Are these really the men in which I am to defend our rights? This is getting ridiculous, I cannot be everywhere at once to keep you all in line!” 

This rare rage from the calm and cold as ice General had shocked the troops beyond belief. Washingtalon had begun to doubt this cause. He needed a right-hand-man, desperately.

\--

A while later, Washingtalon was in his tent, waiting tensely and trying to piece together his newest plan. However, he was slightly surprised to see a grey cat padding into the tent, looking just as tense as him.

“Your Excellency, sir,” the cat mewed, bowing. 

Washingtalon looked confused. “...Who are you?”

“Nyaron Purr, sir,” he spoke quickly, bowing further. “Permission to state my case?”

Washingtalon seemed bored with this cat’s timidness. “...As you were.”

“Sir! I-I was a captain under General Montgomery…until he died in the battle of Quebec…and well…in summary…” Both parties seemed to be very uncomfortable in the conversation. “I think I might be of some assistance to you. I admire how you attack those animal lovers indirectly.”

“Huh,” Washingtalon sighed. He obviously wanted to be done with the conversation.

“I have some questions…m-maybe some suggestions, on how to fight instead of fleeing west.”

“Yes?”

Nyaron opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by yet another coming into the tent. It was Salamander. Nyaron closed his mouth and narrowed his eyes.  
“Washingtalon, your Excellency. You wanted to see me?” Salamander asked.

“Wheatthin! Come in,” Washingtalon greeted. Salamander shimmied in between awkwardly. “Have you met Purr?”

“Yes sir,” Salamander quietly affirmed.

“We keep meeting.” Both of them spoke at the same time, causing Nyaron to get flustered and Salamander to get a little frustrated.

“Well, as I was saying sir, I look forward to seeing your strategies on the battlefield,” Purr offered, expecting to be acknowledged.

“Purr.”

“Sir?”

“Don’t get your tail caught in the door on your way out.”

The look on Nyaron’s face was priceless to Salamander, and he had to hold in a giggle as the cat calmly but still blatantly angrily stomped out. 

Salamander regained himself. “Have I done something wrong, sir? I’m really sorry if so, but I just had to help this cause. It’s very near to me.” The young salamander noticed he was speaking to much and forced himself to stop. It did feel foreign to him.

“No, no. On the contrary, actually. I’ve called you here because, well…” Washingtalon looked for the words. “Our odds of winning the revolution are low now. But your reputation precedes you…I can’t help but be amused…”

“S-sir?” Salamander was confused.

“Wheatthin, how come no one can get you on their staff?” Washingtalon’s voice was light, a hint of a chuckle in his voice.

“Sir!” Salamander protested. 

“Don’t get me wrong -- I think you’re a great young fellow. I heard that you stole the human-supporters cannons when we were still downtown,” Washington spoke, his voice slightly of pride.

“I had to. I just had to, you would have to, right?” Salamander’s eyes glimmered.

“Of course. But both Nathaniel Green and Henry Knox wanted to hire you…”

Salamander scoffed, narrowing his eyes. “Yeah, sure. To be their secretary? Well I don’t think so.” He averted his eyes from Washingtalon’s piercing gaze.

“Why does that make you upset?” The question brought Salamander to silence.

“Well I’m not--”

“It’s alright that you want to fight, you’ve got a hunger to. You want to know something?” Washingtalon asked.

“Yes,” Salamander spoke simply.

“I’m not lying when I say you’re just like I was when I was younger. You’ve got fantasies of dying like a martyr, correct?”

Salamander was disturbed at his accuracy. “...Yes.”

“Dying is easy, young man. Living, that’s harder,” Washingtalon spoke, short and sweet. 

Salamander was more confused than he’d ever been. This had no correlation to anything. “Why are you telling me this?!”

“I’m just being honest. We’re having the hardest time we’ve ever had in this war; we’ve got nothing. I know you don’t want to be a secretary, but I need someone like you as…as my right-hand man. So?”

Salamander’s mind raced. This was his one chance; his one shot to climb up and rise above his reputation. As his heart pounded, he knew what he had to do.

“I am not throwing away this shot.”

“Son,” Washingtalon sounded out of breath, and a genuine smile crossed upon his face. Salamander still bristled at the word. Washingtalon was looking to him like a son, but Salamander’s father brought back terrible memories. Still, he resisted the urge to correct the powerful eagle that stood in front of him. “We are outbattled, outmanned…”

“Oh! You need all of the help you can get, I’ve got some recommendations, my friends, Shellens, Snufflegan, Marquis de Squirrelayatte, all good soldiers. There are many more good men, we’ll need them all. Okay, what else?” Salamander’s mouth was a motor, quick and never stopping until it was done. He moved on as quickly as he started, only ever stopping to find a solution. But that came fast for Salamander, which shocked Washingtalon.

“Well, we’re outnumbered and outplanned,” Washingtalon offered. He was surprised that the young Salamander had so many brains to him; being quick and awfully efficient  
.  
Salamander quickly jolted up. “We’ll need some spies on the inside. The mangy animal lovers will never see it coming. We’ll find out their secrets if a few braves could disguise themselves. I couldn’t do it, surely, think about the dignity. Oh, wait, off topic, sorry.” Salamander’s eagerness and briskness pleased Washingtalon, the eagle’s smile growing larger. “I could write; tell about how we need supplies, you could rally the soldiers, we need to master the element of surprise or we won’t win! So… yes, I will organize your information…not as your secretary but…I will help. To make this new nation, sir!”

Washingtalon got up, signaling Salamander to follow out of the tent. Puzzled, Salamander followed. Some soldiers saw the two together.

“Here comes the General!” One yelped happily.

“And…” One squinted. Salamander recognized him as his dear friend Shellens. “Salamander?”

“And his right-hand-man,” Washingtalon spoke to Salamander’s surprise.

The group shouted their praise and approval. “Woo!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOHOOOOOO FINALLY
> 
> The truth is I had written the last chapter about 2 weeks ago and was just really struggling with this one, but then I just put on my headphones and binged hamilton again and got some inspiration. So here's Right Hand Man!
> 
> Some notes:
> 
> Of course Washington is an eagle. I physically couldn't not, even if its cheesy.
> 
> Historical accuracy is not my friend. Don't go looking for it. I'll put some effort but mainly to keep the story going I just take a lot of liberties.
> 
> I know I torture B(P)urr too much. I feel bad, I really do, he's such a good character. But he's so easy to paint badly, you know? I try to make the story at least somewhat sympathetic towards him though.
> 
> I hope you liked the way I divided up the parts of the chapter because I was at a loss for some of them.
> 
> Next couple chapters will take less time as I've been waiting to write them since the beginning. I already know how they'll go. Also, I've got break from school! but don't expect an update schedule because god I could not handle that.
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!


	8. Salamanders cannot be held; humans skin has oily and salty aspects that harm their skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Salamander chats with a friend.

Nyaron smirked, standing beside Salamander and looking on to the bustling venue full of partiers. It was the Winter’s Ball, and any animal with a pulse would be there for one reason or another.

“I still can’t believe Washingtalon’s hired you,” Nyaron mewed, shaking his head.

“I’m just that cool, Purr,” Salamander bragged. He closed his eyes and swung his head, embellishing in the moment. “Don’t you see?”

Nyaron laughed. “You’re ridiculous, Wheatthin.”

“You know you love me!” Salamander joked.

“Well, love is a strong word,” Nyaron meowed, tilting his head. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Salamander shook his head. “The job isn’t that great, either. All I do is write on leaflets. I wanna fight. Washingtalon just doesn’t get it. Does he not trust me? He should. I’m great at climbing.” Salamander must have noticed he was babbling, as he bit his tongue.

“You take things for granted, Salamander,” Nyaron sighed. He felt offended at how little Salamander cared for the opportunity. “I’d tear off my tail for that job. So what if you have to write? You aren’t too shabby at it. And Washingtalon and his wife adore you.”

“So what if I’m good at it?” Salamander grumbled. “I never wanted to be a secretary. That’s a lamb’s job, or like a…some sort of dog. I’m neither. Now c’mon, I came here to meet some ladies, not dawdle at the entrance.”

“You’re ambitious,” Nyaron laughed. “But really. If you can marry a sister, you’re rich, son.” 

“Well, is it really a question of ‘if’ I can, Purr, or which one I get to first?” Salamander smirked, looking eager. 

“Hey,” Nyaron meowed, winking. 

“Hey!” Salamander smiled. “I can do it. Now let’s go. I can’t stand the anticipation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter for a short song. It's so fun to write Hamilton, er, Wheatthin, and P(B)urr as friends. See! I didn't torture him. He's still immensely jealous of Salamander for getting the job, though. Also! If you can get the animal secretary references I did, nice job! I'll personally give you an internet cookie.
> 
> These salamander fact titles are getting harder. I try to keep them interesting...but sometimes I fall flat. So much for my obsession. Also, did you know that cats and salamanders are my favorite animals? Nyaron and Salamander rock to me. Maybe that's why I made them what I did. Also. Puns. Haha. 
> 
> Also... I just got Cuphead. And Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Please forgive me if I don't put out many chapters in the coming weeks. But I've been extremely excited to write Helpless and Satisfied for like... forever, now. So stay tuned!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed!


	9. Male salamanders attract mates with pheromones and by waggling their tails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizard meets someone.

Elizard stood at the sidelines of the ball with her two sisters, her mind singing and heart buzzing. The music blared, a frog band played bounding music making the atmosphere loud but friendly. Elizard adored these kind of parties since she was a small gecko dreaming for love, and she knew tonight she’d try to get it.

Angelicko came as well, and she was searching just the same. Even though Eggy seemed a bit young she came, and was running all over the place, excited and free, even if no one knew who she was and mistook her for a toddler. Elizard laughed at the sight; she was bouncing around, making the patrons of the ball dazzled with confusion. Elizard did lose track of where her other sister went, eyes scanning around desperately searching. But that was when she saw him.

Her heart thumped in her chest, staring straight at the most handsome salamander she had ever seen. Unintelligible words sputtered out of her mouth; she knew she had to have him. “What are you saying?” Eggy’s voice suddenly cut through Elizard’s spiraling thoughts.

“I’m completely helpless!” was all Elizard cooed affectionately before skidding forwards, hoping to catch up with the devilishly handsome salamander.

Elizard swept past the confused Eggy, and on her way bumped into Angelicko. She was dancing with some chameleon, but dropped him in favor of talking to her sister. “Elizard! Isn’t the party great?” she spoke, hugging her sister.

Elizard nodded chastely but stared straight at the salamander, her eyes twinkling. “Angelicko…this one’s mine,” she gushed, gesturing to him.

Angelicko’s eyes looked blank for a second, but she soon gave a smile. Sitting up, she trotted off. Elizard watched her trail her way to the salamander. Elizard quickly got painstakingly nervous watching Angelicko chat with him. As Angelicko grabbed him by the arm, Elizard looked away, covering her face. _I didn’t even have a chance,_ she thought to herself, silently groveling. But when she looked back, something caught her eye again. He was heading straight towards her! Elizard looked into his eyes and knew she was helpless, smiling wide.

“Elizard Schuylark, it’s a pleasure to meet you…”

“Schuylark?” he looked interested.

“She’s my sister,” Angelicko explained.

“My name is Salamander, Salamander Wheatthin.” Salamander grinned at Elizard, wiggling his tail.

“Thank you for your service,” Elizard breathed, feeling warm.

“If it takes fighting this war for us to meet, it will have been worth it,” Salamander very obviously flirted.

Elizard let out a small noise of delight and her eyes went wide.

Angelicko smirked. “I’ll leave you to it…”

\--

It was about a week later, and Elizard had managed to fall even more head-over-heels in love with Salamander. They began exchanging letters written on leaflets, and Elizard loved every single one. Eagerly beginning to write back, Elizard began to scrawl messily. She wondered just how Salamander had such a good script, it was so hard to write with only three toes. Maybe it was because he had double the digits.

She shook off the thought and noticed Angelicko coming up to her. “You’re writing to him…again?” she smirked.

“Well, you’ve got me,” Elizard laughed. She continued writing messily. “He’s the one.”

“I’m just saying, if you really loved me you would share him,” Angelicko joked, the laughter in her voice breaking and making her burst into a fit of laughter.

“Ha!” Elizard laughed loudly, dropping the leaflet and playfully tackling her sister. The two giggled boisterously, acting like little geckolings despite their age.

\--

Two weeks later, it was finally time to see if Elizard’s love was enough. Salamander was visiting, come to see if he could court Elizard. Her heart panged with a mixture of love and pure anxiety. Watching her father in the kitchen with Salamander made her think the worst. Who was she kidding? Her father would never accept a poor man to marry his rich daughter, no matter how much love or smarts they had.

Elizard blinked away the tears pooling at the corner of her eyes. She wouldn’t cry, she was being just ridiculous. She reminded herself there was nothing Salamander’s mind couldn’t do, he would prove himself with his brains like he always did.

She watched her father walk up to Salamander, towering over him as Salamander was much smaller than the bird. Elizard quickly thought to herself that they were through, but was surprised to see her father put his wing on Salamander’s small shoulder, and spoke ‘be true’, looking genuine.

Elizard was elated, and so was Salamander. He looked back and smiled at her, and ran out and wrapped his arms around her, wobbling on his tiny legs. Salamander was hers now, truly and forever.

“Elizard, I don’t have any money…I don’t have a bit of land to call my own, Washingtalon won’t give me a troop to command, I’m not even that well-known… all I really have is my honor, some tolerance for pain, my climbing skills and my smarts…”

“Well, now we have each other,” Elizard smiled, the tears coming back to her.

“Yes…I still can’t believe it,” Salamander admitted, laughing a bit. “It’s insane, you and your family bring out a different side of me…I mean, Eggy confides in me and well…Angelicko tried to take a bite of me…”

Elizard grimaced and looked around for her sister, a pit in her stomach rising. Salamander laughed and pulled her towards him.

“Don’t stress, my dearest. My love for you is never in doubt.” Salamander smiled widely.

Elizard smiled back, truly feeling helpless.

\--

The wedding bells chimed about a month later. Both Salamander and Elizard had fallen fast and hard for each other, demanding a marriage be arranged as soon as possible. Salamander had chosen his good friend Shellens as his best man, and Hercules had pretty much demanded to be the flower boy.

And Elizard chose Angelicko as the maid of honor.

“Thank you so much for introducing me to him,” Elizard thanked for about the millionth time, hugging Angelicko. “You’re the best sister anyone could ever ask for.”

Angelicko smiled warmly, although there was a sad look in her eyes that Elizard didn’t detect.

“May you always be satisfied.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Helpless~
> 
> Here's some notes
> 
> I'm updating this in class right now. Screams, these will be quick notes
> 
> I needed to mention the fact that Hercules was the flower boy, it's SO unappreciated and i love my bunson
> 
> Poor, poor Angelicko...wait, who am I forgetting? *thinking emoji*
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed! Satisfied is next... :)))))
> 
> ALSO HAPPY HOLIDAYS
> 
> edit: WOAH I've just realized this fic has been on Ao3 for 6 MONTHS now. Happy birthday my baby :') and thank you to all the readers who inspire me to keep this going


	10. Thousands of spotted salamanders will travel to a breeding pond at the same time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelicko and John chat.

The wedding had formally started, John shouting out praises to Salamander and Elizard and the guests cheering. “Alright, alright! That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” the turtle shouted out happily, looking at everyone up and down. “Now, everyone give it up for the maid of honor, Angelicko Schuylark!”

Angelicko bowed at the newly gained attention and scurried up next to John. “I’d like to make a toast to the groom,” she adressed first, looking at Salamander. His eyes looked thoughtful as he stood next to Elizard. 

The guests echoed her, cheering for him rambunctiously. Angelicko smiled. “And to the bride.” Angelicko looked into her sister’s lovestruck eyes and her smile got wider. Cheers for Elizard started to arise.

“From your sister, who is always by your side,” Angelicko spoke, winking at Elizard. Elizard’s eyes screamed ‘thank you’ (for the billionth time).

“One to your union,” Angelicko added, which seemed to spark more interest in the crowd, which now was a mixture of ‘revolution’ and screaming. “And the hope that you provide…” 

Angelicko let out a silent sigh, unheard by anyone. It was not a happy sigh, or a begrudging one, but somewhat of a disappointed sigh. Not dissapointed in Elizard by any means, but something deeper. Her smile remained, still. “May you always be satisfied.”

Cheers and whoops circulated, and Angelicko looked at Salamander and Elizard talking happily and embracing. She stepped away to an empty spot to sit, not to isolate herself, but to simply observe. 

She noticed Salamander’s friends had joined in on the celebration, but for some reason John was nowhere to be seen. It was strange; they’d seemed the closest to each other, Salamander always including their antics in the letters he sent to Elizard. 

Then Angelicko noticed he was sitting next to her. “It’s a really nice wedding,” he spoke softly, almost overpowered by the loud cheers.

“Yeah,” she agreed just as softly, not knowing what else to say.

“Herc really went overboard with the flowers,” he chuckled, looking at the soft violet petals scattered everywhere.

Angelicko had enough of this small-talk. “Okay, really, why are you not with Salamander? Aren’t you his closest friend?”

John’s eyes flashed with an unrecognizable emotion, and then he smiled. “I could ask you the same question.”

“No, really. He always wrote about you.” John looked surprised at this.

He laughed, but it seemed dark. Bitter. “I feel like it would hurt too much to see him right this minute,” he spoke, voice barely a whisper.

Angelicko suddenly understood his pensiveness and. “Then I guess we’re in the same boat...what happened?”

“I’m gonna ask you first. I promise I’ll tell you after, but I take this to my grave.” John’s voice was incredibly serious, so much so that Angelicko let out a sigh, getting ready to spill her guts, her only thought being ‘here goes nothing’.

“Okay,” she started, taking a breath. “It all started at the Winter’s Ball. You were there, right?” John nodded, intently listening. “I remember that night so clearly, oh, God, I regret that night every day. I remember the first time I saw his face...it was love at first sight. I went to talk to him, and it was like we matched wits...it was amazing.”

John let out a watery chuckle. “I felt the same way when me and him met.”

Angelicko smiled. Talking to John had made her feel a little better so far. “He told me he’s never been satisfied--” John laughed again. “What?”

“Nothing -- go on.”

“Then I saw my sister’s face and…oh God, I knew she was helpless. I was too, but...there’s three things, really.” Angelicko paused, thinking about how she was dumping all of this on a near stranger. But she continued nonetheless. “One...I couldn’t have him for myself anyways. My father has high expectations for who I am to marry, and he fits barely any of them. We’re soulmates...but it just wouldn’t cut it still. Two, he was after me because I’m a Schuylark sister, that’s obvious...and, number three. I know my sister like I know my own mind, you will never find anyone more trusting or more caring. If I admitted I loved him, she’d let me have him. She’s not one for fighting...but...she wouldn’t be happy. I did it all for her, and seeing her face tonight? It was worth it. It was all worth it.”

Angelicko solemnly closed her eyes, not wanting to spill another word. John gave her a look of understanding, which comforted her a small bit. 

“Well, I guess it’s my turn,” John sighed. He paused for a second, obviously trying to process the conversation. “Um...would you believe me if I said our stories are…pretty similar?”

Angelicko’s mouth was agape at his words, but honestly, it kind of made sense. The turtle had been looking at the newlyweds with some sort of desire in his eyes, and Salamander had written about him plenty of times to Elizard. But John was being so vulnerable in admitting it to her, and Angelicko guessed it was kind of worth it to tell her side.

“Yeah… it all started years ago, I can’t keep track of how long. But I met him at the pond, and from the start I could see the fire in him, and I liked that.” John smiled, remembering that day. “We became fast friends, and then we were seperated for a while, but we always wrote each other letters. I began to…” John’s mouth scrunched up as if he were biting onto something. “Let’s just say I really liked him a lot. And, I’ll say it now… his letters were very amorous after a while.”

Angelicko couldn’t hold in her snort. “Seriously? That scoundrel.”

John laughed a bit. “Yeah, not even kidding. I thought we had something, but then he started describing Elizard. I was a little shocked, and very hurt… but at least we’re still friends.”

Angelicko frowned at this, nervous for what that would mean for her sister. Would Salamander replace her like she was dirt? And she also felt bad for John. Her experience was nothing compared to his.

“I know my story is more selfish…I mean, you sacrificed for your sister. I wouldn’t have been able to do that.” He gave a sheepish smile.

“No! John, it was screwed up of Salamander to just lead you on like that,” Angelicko exclaimed. “It’s just…I hope he stays loyal to at least Elizard.” 

“Yeah, she seems like a really nice person.” John was smiling genuinely now, and it was contagious.

“You know what? Screw Salamander. Why don’t we go and celebrate ourselves? Grab a slice of cake…?” Angelicko reached out an arm.

“I’d like that,” John spoke, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, burn me at the stake for not updating for SO. LONG.
> 
> I'm legitimately sorry. I don't know if anyone even noticed if I was gone, but it felt very strange not to update for so long.
> 
> So I'm really sorry. A LOT has happened in 2018 for me, and I really just hadn't had time to write at all eep.  
> Now, I don't know if I'll update much in the future.
> 
> I tried to make this chapter absolutely perfect for you all. I worked hard on it, and I really hope you like it.
> 
> Times are changing, and so has my special interest. Yep, Hamilton was once upon a time my special interest, but now I'm sort of drifting away from it. Don't get me wrong; I adore the music still! It just feels weird to write about it. And I have a new one now, so I'm really more happy making content for that one instead of Hamilton. 
> 
> But I promise, I'll try to update this when I can, because I still love this story.
> 
> Comments motivate me a lot, so if you want more tell mee!!!!!!!!


End file.
